


Mango's Dragon Age One-shots

by AbsolutelyMango



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Blood Magic (Dragon Age), F/M, Gen, M/M, Misgendering, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Self-Harm, Trans Male Character, Trauma, Unrequited Crush, accidental misgendering, bi cullen rights, gender euphoria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:35:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28892241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsolutelyMango/pseuds/AbsolutelyMango
Summary: These are just some things I probably wrote on stream and occasionally have things related to each other.(consider it complete until proven otherwise and tags will be updated as I go)Major ocs:Anslow Amell - Circle mage, half elf, Grey Warden, trans manRasice Adaar - Qunari mage, Inquisitor, nonbinary
Relationships: Amell/Jowan (Dragon Age), Cullen Rutherford/Warden, Zevran Arainai/Male Warden
Kudos: 3





	1. Zevran's hair

**Author's Note:**

> Some fluffy Zevran and Amell bonding

Anslow chuckled, running a hand through Zevran’s hair. “I don’t see why having the most beautiful locks is necessary while we live in the woods.”

“Ah, but you see my darling, what if someone stumbles upon our camp? Then when they see me, they can be amazed and made jealous in one turn of my head.” The blonde elf makes his point by shaking his almost shoulder length hair. “Who wouldn’t stop in their tracks at that?”

The half elven mage giggles, resting his forehead on his beloved’s shoulder. “You have a point.”


	2. Amell takes Jowan's fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was made because of a prompt: Start your story with someone admitting a secret and end it with someone telling a lie.
> 
> So Jowan tells the truth and Amell lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: Blood magic/self harm
> 
> also, this is an au of my 'canon' for the game where instead of getting recruited by Duncan, this happens.

While Lily was off attending to some of her duties, Jowan pulled Anslow off to the side. He wanted to tell him something, so he assumed it was part of a plan that he and Lily had already discussed. What it really was, was him revealing a secret. A very big secret.

“H- why did you?” Anslow ran his hands through his hair, not actually wanting to take apart the tight bun in his hair, but still having the impulse of running his fingers through it and biting his hair. This was too much, too much for him to keep secret. That would mean the rumors were-

“I dabbled.” Jowan admitted, covering his arms again. “I thought it would make me a better mage. They were going to make me tranquil regardless of if the rumor was true or not.”

“You- we’re going to get into so much trouble if anyone finds out.” The half elven mage whispered, hands latching onto his ears after being unsuccessful with his hair.

“We’re going to be in trouble regardless if the plan works.” Jowan points out, his own anxiety showing as well. “Just.. please don’t tell anyone else.”

Anslow nods, trying not to cry. He was between a rock and a hard place. Everything he’d been taught, told him to turn Jowan in immediately, but this was Jowan. His best friend and the closest thing to home in this entire circle. “I promise…”

The human’s relief was immediate, a hopeful smile and a comforting hug. “Thank you, thank you. I was afraid that you’d hate me.”

With shaking arms, Anslow hugged back, tightly, afraid to let go. “I could never hate you.”

After cleaning up his face and splitting off from Jowan, he left to complete the plan. He talked to a few people, trying to seem normal and hoping that the recent Harrowing would pass off any suspicious behavior. He got the flame rod and developed a new reason to be shaken up. Despite himself, he talked to Cullen, trying to seem nice to the jumpy Templar, but regretted it half way through. He was able to leave the conversation by using some half assed excuse about needing to move his things to his new room.

He ended up going to First Enchanter Irving by instinct, regretting his choice the moment that Irving noticed him. The two of them talked for a while. Anslow tried to pull up the courage to either tell him or leave the room without saying anything. Their conversation stumbled upon the reports. That steeled their resolve. 

“As much as I’d like to stay and talk more, I still have things to move. Thank you, sir.” Anslow moved as slow as their racing heart would allow.

With the fire rod up his sleeve, the three went down into the basement, exploring and trying to find the phylactery room. It was difficult since the direct route had been cut off, but with the three of you, it was successful. His phylactery destroyed and heading to a better future.

The entire journey had left Anslow jumpier than usual, anxiety running his mind through the worst of the outcomes possible. It led to him holding one of the knives that they found while exploring. He had heard the general idea of what it was like to use that kind of magic and wondered if he’d ever get so desperate to use it. Under normal circumstances, he’d swear it off and say that it was a horrible magic, but now isn’t a normal time. He’s never felt so desperate for something to go right, even the Harrowing didn’t make his heart squeeze with fear this much.

They made it up the stairs only to find Irving and a group of templars coming to them. With threats to the entire group’s safety, both Jowan and Anslow reacted, the half human was just a bit faster.

He pulled out the knife, cutting his hand in the process and using a wind spell, flinging some of his blood with it. 

Lily reacted poorly, upset that Jowan would be consorting with a blood mage.

Anslow could almost laugh. “Yes… I’m a blood mage…” 

Perhaps it's because she’s just a regular human, but some mages would have known that was just a wind spell, sure, amplified to make it strong enough to knock over a human, but just a wind spell.

He didn’t remember running, but he does remember the panicked noise of Jowan’s voice and him tugging on your body. When he became aware of what was happening, they were outside the tower and having to find a way off of the island. Jowan was swearing to himself and refusing to let go of you.

With some combined effort, the two used ice to cross and just a bit of fire magic to make it to the other side. Luckily, their running was faster than the row boat.

The two managed to camp out and hide, feeling safe and scared. It was freeing. Jowan was happier than he had been in… in all of the time Anslow had met him. Sure he was scared, but he was already more expressive. He was saddened by Lily deciding to stay at the tower, but he was glad that he still had his best friend in the world.

They got to the closest town and Anslow cursed. Templars. Despite having destroyed Jowan’s phylactery, Anslow’s had been moved already and was perfectly intact. The templars were obviously looking for the escaped mages.

“Jowan.. You need to run.” Anslow whispered to him, pointing away from the group.

“What? I can’t just leave you!” The human whispered back, eyes constantly glancing at them.

“I’ll be fine, just go. They won’t be able to track the both of us!”

With obvious reluctance, he ran just before Anslow began running the opposite way. He liked to think he ran pretty far before he was caught. They began questioning immediately about Jowan.

“Jowan? I haven’t seen him in days.”


	3. Bye Bi Cullen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, I couldn't come up with a better title for this chapter.
> 
> Time for some unrequited Amell/Cullen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: accidental misgendering (Amell wasn't out at the time, he didn't know), trauma, religious guilt, and probably more but I'm blanking

Cullen’s first mistake was falling in love.

The second was having that crush be on a mage.

He wasn’t sure why he liked her. Well, there were a few that he could say, but those were general ones and weren’t very helpful. Like, she was pretty, she was one of the best mages in the circle, and she was very kind. Those kinds of things.

Maybe not knowing why he loved her is part of the reason it hurt so much when she left. After an escape attempt with a blood mage and then joining the Grey Wardens, it hurt him. After reflecting on it years later, he knew he had no reason to have felt hurt by her leaving, but such was emotions, illogical and sometimes harmful.

A few weeks or months later, she returned to him. Well, she returned to the Circle, not to him and he wasn’t in any condition to see the real her again. For what felt like days, maybe weeks, he’s been seeing visions of her. She was there, but not real, offering him things he couldn’t have, shouldn’t have. He’d watch as his fellow templars died and still get tempted by visions of a love he couldn’t have. It only served to drill into his head what he already knew, that loving her was a sin. So when he finally saw her again, he wasn’t ready to accept she was real.

His barriers for his words had been trampled a long time ago. He said many things that night to her, things he’d regret. Told her that he had loved her, told her that his love was a sin, that she was a sin, that she should kill every mage in the tower, that they were all going to die.

He wouldn’t forget the look on her face. A strong warrior like her had come to his rescue and he’d thrown all of his rage into her face, what a sorry lot he was. Maybe one day, she’d forgive him. With how she had fled the Circle after saving it, he doubts that forgiveness would come anytime soon.

He was later transferred to Kirkwall. At the time, he appreciated being there. Finding it to be to his standards of how a Circle should be run, for the most part. But as the years went on, Meredith started to change, Hawke and their party started getting more involved with the city, and a few times, he thought he saw Amell in the city, but that was probably wishful thinking on his part.

Then it all fell apart.

The Chantry was destroyed, Meredith had lost it completely with the Red Lyrium, and the city was in ruins. The problem had been stopped, for now. He didn’t bother stopping Hawke’s group as they left. Why should he? They’d saved the city from a problem he had let fester. 

For now, it was time to clean up and rebuild.

Years later, he was invited to the conclave. Then to start the Inquisition as everything fell apart around him again. This time, he was determined to help, even if it was painful to help at times. But with the Herald and his friends, they were making a difference.

It was a day like any other, going through paperwork, coming up with plans, training the forces, his usual, when Leliana came to his office with an almost impish grin.

“Aren’t you a little tired of working, Cullen? I think you should take a break for once.” She stood by him, plucking the paper from in front of him.

He sighed, looking up at her. He was tired and his body ached at the idea of a break, but he knew that he still had a lot of work to be done. “You know I can’t do that.”

“I know, but the Inquisitor has requested it. In fact, she wants you to join her at the tavern.” Leliana moves over, pulling his chair and him in it, away from the desk. “She’s recruited someone that you should meet.”

“... You know who it is, don’t you?” He stared up at her, blankly.

“Do I?” She asked, trying to sound like she didn’t, but her mocking tone was clear, even to him. Then she giggled. “Don’t worry about it too much Cullen. I think you’ll like him.”

“If he’s an Orlesian, I don’t want to meet him.” He looked forward again, attempting to get back to work.

“I swear, he’s Ferelden. So Ferelden, infact, he owns a Mabari.”

That got his attention.

He tried to seem professional about this, after all, this was a new ally he was going to meet. “Does the mabari have a name?”

She laughed, leaving the room. “His name is Barkspawn.”

After cleaning up a little bit, he headed down to the tavern. It wasn’t hard to find the Inquisitor, the woman was a tall Qunari, even when sitting. He moved over to her, ignoring the attention he was getting from the other patrons.

As he got closer, he noticed the figure sitting beside her. Despite what Leliana said, this person was wearing Orlesian Grey Warden uniform, but true to her word, he had a mabari with him. Once in hearing range, he could hear his accent, definitely a Ferelden accent at the core, but pronouncing words in wildly different accents as he talked.

He cleared his throat, standing by both of them. “You wanted me Inquisitor?”

They both turned to look at him and he couldn’t help staring at the Warden. A half elven man with the look of a rugged hero, handsome, but with the look of someone who had seen the worst of humanity and monsters, yet decided still to care. Once the Warden focused on him, his expression changed from confused to amused.

The Inquisitor smiled and nodded. “Yes. Would you like a drink? It’s rare to convince you to take a break, so I thought you could enjoy it with us.”

“It would help us catch up on so much if you stayed and talked.” The Warden said with a sinfully deep voice. He was pretty sure that he could listen to that voice reciting the Chant of Light and not get tired of it.

The two sitting already had drinks and a chair open between them. He suspected that they had planned this, but he might as well take the bait. He wasn’t sure of what the Warden had meant by catching up, but he’d probably learn if he stayed. “Sure, but no card games, I’d prefer if my pants stayed on.”

And so the three drank and talked. The Inquisitor was skillful with her tongue, coaxing stories out of the Warden, yet never getting him to say his own name or how he seemed to already know Cullen.

With a bit more help from his liquid courage, he finally asked. “So… Warden.. You’re a very handsome man, I felt like I would have remembered you if we had met. What’s your name?”

A small blush rose to the Warden’s cheeks, before they laughed and shook their head. “Jowan did a marvelous job, if even you can’t immediately know who I am.”

Jowan, that’s a name he hasn’t heard of in forever. “W-what?”

The Warden turned to face him fully, face smug and playful. “Hello, Cullen. I’m Anslow Amell, ex-member of the Ferelden Circle. It’s nice to see you again after all these years.”

He might not have been sobered up by that comment, but he damn felt near it. How? How was he able to fall for Amell twice? And when he looked completely different? He shakily stood up, face red and not sure where he wanted to go. 

“Cullen?” The Inquisitor asked, looking at him with concern and amusement.

“It was lovely seeing you again, but uh… I need to go… sort some papers. It was nice seeing you, bye!” Cullen, trying not to run, sped walked out of the tavern and back to his own room. To his dismay, Leliana and Josephine were in his office.

“So, how did it go?” Leliana asked, grinning.

“You knew it was Amell, didn’t you?” He accused, still emboldened by his alcohol.

“Are you accusing me of knowing that the Inquisitor wanted you to meet one of the Heroes of Ferelden and that I knew that the hero knew you?” She faked insult, then laughed. “Yes, I knew you were meeting one of my old friends.”

He groans, moving to his ladder. “Don’t wake me up, I need to sleep off the shame of tonight and years ago.”

“Please be careful.” Josephine says, standing nearby in case he fell off the ladder.

“I will..” Cullen fell into bed, not bothering with taking his armor off. He’s made several mistakes in his life. One of the most notable at the moment was falling in love with the same person. Twice.


	4. Lacking gender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inquisitor discovers they're not cis

Krem looks up as the Inquisitor enters the tavern and heads, almost, straight to him. “Need something Inquisitor?”

She nods, glancing around. “Can I talk to you about something? Something that’s been on my mind and I felt that you might have advice about.”

“Are you sure there’s one else who’s more qualified?” Krem sets his tankard to the side and gives her his full attention. 

“Well, there might be a few who are more ‘qualified’, but you’re the only person I’ve known who talks about it, so… You’re the only person I feel I can trust to talk about this with.”

It was odd, seeing the Qunari woman so nervous to talk about something, so much that she actually danced around the topic instead of being blunt about it. He nods. “I’m all ears.”

“Thank you, but let’s not talk about it here. As much as I enjoy everyone’s company, I don’t think that I’m comfortable letting the entire castle know yet. Can you meet me at the gardens this evening?”

He nods. “I’ll see you then.”

With a nod from Skyhold’s leader, she left through the door. Now that she was gone, he picked his drink back up and tried not to dwell on what she could possibly want to talk to him about.

~~~~~

As the sun was setting, most people had started leaving the garden for dinner, but the Inquisitor had just arrived. She glanced around and smiled as her gaze fell onto the human, who was leaning on a pillar. “Thank you, for indulging my request.”

“Not a problem. Didn’t want to leave you helpless when I’m the only one who can help.” He teases, standing up straight and meeting her gaze. “So, what did you need advice on?”

Her purple hands moved up and started scratching the space between her own fingers. “I wanted to talk to you about… I wanted to ask…” She took a deep breath, seeming to try to put her words into an order that she felt was appropriate. “Is it… common, to feel detached from your gender?”

Krem blinked at the Inquisitor. Now he was starting to understand why Rasice came to him, she- maybe not a she anymore, Rasice probably didn’t know other trans people. If the Inquisitor did, then those people weren’t out like he was. He felt a swell of protectiveness for the taller one.

“I see.” He gives a soft smile and pats their back. “First of all, I’m not the best guide to this, but I’ll tell you everything I can. Second off, no, it’s not usual for people to feel disconnected from their gender.”

Rasice nods, thinking more as their fingers worked at their skin more. “I don’t think I want to be a man though. I don’t think I’m a woman, but I don’t think I’m a man either.”

“You don’t have to be either.” At the Inquisitor’s inquiring gaze, he chuckles. “I’ve met a few people who don’t identify as a man or a woman. Some of those people have names to what they are, others choose to just exist with the knowledge of what they aren’t and not figure out a word for what they feel. You’re not strange for feeling this way.”

They relax, smiling at their fingers, which stopped moving. “Thank you… Um, may I ask another thing of you?”

“Sure can.” He grins, patting their hands. “What is it?”

“Can you ask the Chargers to refer to me as a they instead of a she? You don’t have to, but you and them feel like a safe group to ask that of.”

He smiles, squeezing their hands as he feels his own heart squeeze in his chest. “I’ll have the boys know.”


End file.
